-10, J
Today is passing at a glacial pace and V and I are having trouble focusing.
+10, V
I feel a need to let you all know that this blog is
brace yourself
A LIE
You can take a moment to digest this disappointing information.
Let me explain: I'm currently only 9 years older than J. *pause for gasp* This blog will continue to be a lie for a few more months. I'll let you know when we're being truthful again.
Ricki Lake and Jef Probst have started their own shows and they're doing all this feel-good stuff. It's like they're trying to be Oprah...but without the free shit. It's nice but that's not going to last long.
X factor starts tonight. A few of the hosts recently came back from rehab -- looking forward to that. We haven't really seen Brittney since the head-shaving episode...should be interesting. Chloe is supposed to be the host...whatever.
VampD, Oct 11 (LESS THAN ONE MONTH AWAY), so excited. SO.EXCITED.
My weekends have been pretty boring. My sister is now living with me and we seem to drink a lot and re-arrange furniture.
We are also in constant competition about who can get the highest Bejewelled Blitz score. That jerk just called to say that she beat my high score from last night.
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Loooooooong weekend
*CanadianOff to my hometown for the annual festival this weekend, who doesn't love FREE corn on the cob? #noseriously
Got tomorrow off -- leaving at 4 today...living the dream. Will try again to get some pics of my pipeliner boys.
Looking forward to all the bar fights that seem to happen between 1 and 2 AM, because people from other small towns come to visit. People from small towns seem to have missed the memo that came out after the original FOOTLOOSE...it's not cool to beat up people from other small towns.
In case it's unclear: leave the girls from the other town alone. If they're halfway decent looking, they've got 5 strapping boys ready to pounce on your ass. Think: 7 brides for 7 brothers.
Hopefully I can come back with some good stories
-10, J
Wedding weekend #.......yeah, I've lost count.
Monday, August 20, 2012
Difference: HEALTH
+10, V
Well, Kids, things just aren't the same 10 years down the road.
Today, I had a legitimate health scare. I'm not even joking. I was sitting at my desk and experienced sharp pain under my left boob and in the back of my shoulder.
I obviously GOOGLED "heart attack symptoms". I was fearful for my LIFE.
The google result showed me that I did not meet all of the symptoms. SO, I called my ++10 friend, explained my symptoms, and she assured me that I wasn't having a heart attack but instead it was
wait for it
gas pains.
I also asked somebody who's 50, who shared that she can't even eat raw vegetables anymore. (I ate cucumber).
I'm also debating whether or not I should write up a will. YOU NEVER KNOW.
I've been downing Sprite Zero trying to burp. Wish me luck.
-10, J
V's been walking around the office telling anyone with ears about how much pain she's in and begging them for Gasx.
A co-worker called from the store and V convinced them to buy some.
I've honestly heard her tell the story three times.
That's a lie. It's been five.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
obvs
+10, V
There was a men's golf tournament in my hometown this weekend.
On Friday night there were a bunch of female strippers at the bar. Of course, I went to the back of the bar when they came on (and, let's be honest, this is the first time that I've seen strippers and was NOT in the front row).
All I saw was them sliding around on a blanket on stage...they just put their butts up in the air and got $5. They just slid around and covered up with the blanket and then left. NO DANCING?!? lame
The closing act was "Talia"...as if that's her real name. I was hoping for "Porche" or something cool. If I was a stripper my name would be "Presley" (obvs).
I'm going on VACAY this friday and will be gone for a week. Hopefully I'll take some notes and have some exciting stories upon my return.
love it
-10, J
Let me summarize V's "notes"
"I slept in"
"I tanned by my pool"
My motto for the summer: "A good friend brings a bottle of wine to share. A best friend brings two."
The summer of weddings continues -- this weekend is # 6 of 9.
There was a men's golf tournament in my hometown this weekend.
On Friday night there were a bunch of female strippers at the bar. Of course, I went to the back of the bar when they came on (and, let's be honest, this is the first time that I've seen strippers and was NOT in the front row).
All I saw was them sliding around on a blanket on stage...they just put their butts up in the air and got $5. They just slid around and covered up with the blanket and then left. NO DANCING?!? lame
The closing act was "Talia"...as if that's her real name. I was hoping for "Porche" or something cool. If I was a stripper my name would be "Presley" (obvs).
I'm going on VACAY this friday and will be gone for a week. Hopefully I'll take some notes and have some exciting stories upon my return.
love it
-10, J
Let me summarize V's "notes"
"I slept in"
"I tanned by my pool"
My motto for the summer: "A good friend brings a bottle of wine to share. A best friend brings two."
The summer of weddings continues -- this weekend is # 6 of 9.
Friday, July 20, 2012
Rebecca Black Day
+10, V
Well, I finished the first book, and am about 1/4 of the way into book 2.
I hope to get more reading done this weekend. Looking for my 20-something Christian Grey ... could be disguised as a Carnie or Pipeliner...who knows?
Going to the Legion tonight for the meat draw, haven't been in a while, should be the usual awesome-ness.
Really hoping to find another 20-something who wants to put diamonds in my rings and wants me to sleep with him and thinks that I'm younger than my sisters.
Just another adventurous weekend in a small town...you never know what's going to happen.
-10, J
V's a big talker. "another 20-something who wants to sleep with me"?? She didn't even let the guy from last weekend sleep with her...but, let's be honest; all of this is good for the blog so, who cares.
Dear Ellen,
Please get us on your show. Will you let us if V sleeps with a Pipeliner?
Sincerely,
J
p.s. V thinks that we should now be aiming for Howard Stern, but I don't know who that is.
Well, I finished the first book, and am about 1/4 of the way into book 2.
I hope to get more reading done this weekend. Looking for my 20-something Christian Grey ... could be disguised as a Carnie or Pipeliner...who knows?
Going to the Legion tonight for the meat draw, haven't been in a while, should be the usual awesome-ness.
Really hoping to find another 20-something who wants to put diamonds in my rings and wants me to sleep with him and thinks that I'm younger than my sisters.
Just another adventurous weekend in a small town...you never know what's going to happen.
-10, J
V's a big talker. "another 20-something who wants to sleep with me"?? She didn't even let the guy from last weekend sleep with her...but, let's be honest; all of this is good for the blog so, who cares.
Dear Ellen,
Please get us on your show. Will you let us if V sleeps with a Pipeliner?
Sincerely,
J
p.s. V thinks that we should now be aiming for Howard Stern, but I don't know who that is.
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
50 Shades
+10, V
Let's just say that after the first love scene I needed a drink and a smoke.
When reading in front of my nephews I felt...dirty. Couldn't do it.
I read for 3 hours straight -- and am 90 pages away from being done book 1.
I think I'm in love with Mr. Grey...minus all the S&M stuff. I feel like all men should read it because woman are looking for his personality, confidence and masculinity...he's a man. He's just a bit of a control freak and is into S&M.
I guess I could imagine why she tries out the red room of pain. In my lifetime I have lusted over one man probably the same way that she lusts after him. But I never even made out with my guy. Now he's married with a kid and is apparently a slob.
When he smiled I'd need a drink, and to sit down.
Has any woman ever slept with the guy that makes her THAT crazy? Really??
This is some dirty shit. Like dirty.
I've experienced some dirty things in my life and I still have a hard time talking about all this erotic shit.
-10, J
Never read 'em.
Oh boy, now the co-workers are getting into it...I'm one of 3 in my department that hasn't started the series.
Let's just say that after the first love scene I needed a drink and a smoke.
When reading in front of my nephews I felt...dirty. Couldn't do it.
I read for 3 hours straight -- and am 90 pages away from being done book 1.
I think I'm in love with Mr. Grey...minus all the S&M stuff. I feel like all men should read it because woman are looking for his personality, confidence and masculinity...he's a man. He's just a bit of a control freak and is into S&M.
I guess I could imagine why she tries out the red room of pain. In my lifetime I have lusted over one man probably the same way that she lusts after him. But I never even made out with my guy. Now he's married with a kid and is apparently a slob.
When he smiled I'd need a drink, and to sit down.
Has any woman ever slept with the guy that makes her THAT crazy? Really??
This is some dirty shit. Like dirty.
I've experienced some dirty things in my life and I still have a hard time talking about all this erotic shit.
-10, J
Never read 'em.
Oh boy, now the co-workers are getting into it...I'm one of 3 in my department that hasn't started the series.
Monday, July 16, 2012
Arnold (the Jewish) Schwarzenegger
+10, V
So, basically what happened was my sisters made me go to the bar around MIDNIGHT (I wasn't keen on the idea, because this is already 3 hours past my bedtime).
We walked there and got a drink and people-watched the 30ish people that were in the bar.
A v-neck-wearing kid (age: 25) comes up to us and starts chatting. He broke up with his g/f 6 months ago and he was heartbroken. I felt the need to give him some sage advice -- namely that it would probably take a year to get over her.
I could tell that he was getting pretty drunk and he sort of wandered off.
We sat down at a table and there was an East Indain guy (that I know) sitting with us. V-neck kid (who was sitting beside me at the time) turned towards me and said "I'm a little bit racist, shouldn't that guy be bombing soemthing?" He then paused and said "I'm a Jew". I turned to him and said "Actually, he's really nice and I know him"
V-neck kid was really drunk, I could tell -- he's probably really nice...didn't seem like he was used to being as drunk as he was.
V-neck kid then looked at me and said "I can tell that I've offended you...this is a bit of an awkward moment. I'm going to go mingle for a while. I'll be back...you know...'cause my name's Arnold. get it?"
I was polite and smiled and then turned to my sister and we were like "wtf, did this just happen??"
Then v-neck kid comes back and he told me that he sells farm equipment and makes $42K/year. He wants to buy a house and a car. He talked about wanting to go visit his 40-something sister who has kids that are "bastards".
Thank god that 'last call' came at that moment and the lights came on. We said our goodbyes but not before good 'ol Arnold asked for a hug. He also guessed that I was 23.
LOVE HIM.
My sister was ticked because she's younger than me but people always assume that I'm younger. BOO YAH.
-10, J
Cabin weekends are my favourite.
24 of beer
26 of vodka
4 lime-aids from concentrate
= 10L of fun
So, basically what happened was my sisters made me go to the bar around MIDNIGHT (I wasn't keen on the idea, because this is already 3 hours past my bedtime).
We walked there and got a drink and people-watched the 30ish people that were in the bar.
A v-neck-wearing kid (age: 25) comes up to us and starts chatting. He broke up with his g/f 6 months ago and he was heartbroken. I felt the need to give him some sage advice -- namely that it would probably take a year to get over her.
I could tell that he was getting pretty drunk and he sort of wandered off.
We sat down at a table and there was an East Indain guy (that I know) sitting with us. V-neck kid (who was sitting beside me at the time) turned towards me and said "I'm a little bit racist, shouldn't that guy be bombing soemthing?" He then paused and said "I'm a Jew". I turned to him and said "Actually, he's really nice and I know him"
V-neck kid was really drunk, I could tell -- he's probably really nice...didn't seem like he was used to being as drunk as he was.
V-neck kid then looked at me and said "I can tell that I've offended you...this is a bit of an awkward moment. I'm going to go mingle for a while. I'll be back...you know...'cause my name's Arnold. get it?"
I was polite and smiled and then turned to my sister and we were like "wtf, did this just happen??"
Then v-neck kid comes back and he told me that he sells farm equipment and makes $42K/year. He wants to buy a house and a car. He talked about wanting to go visit his 40-something sister who has kids that are "bastards".
Thank god that 'last call' came at that moment and the lights came on. We said our goodbyes but not before good 'ol Arnold asked for a hug. He also guessed that I was 23.
LOVE HIM.
My sister was ticked because she's younger than me but people always assume that I'm younger. BOO YAH.
-10, J
Cabin weekends are my favourite.
24 of beer
26 of vodka
4 lime-aids from concentrate
= 10L of fun
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Pipeliner Boyfriend
+10, V
He started with lame pick-up lines like:
"you need a diamond in that ring"
"don't overthink it, just come to my room"
"you're overthinking it"
"I got screwed over by girls my own age so I'm looking for someone who's older and classy"
FAIL
He's the same age as -10, so that's crazy. BUT he makes $26K/MONTH. Which is even more crazy.
He bought me a "nice shooter" called a "lemon drop" which teaches you to never trust a pipeliner.
After all this he started getting possessive.
He came up to my table when I was talking to an old friend, and he immediatly introduced himself and gave my friend the staredown.
I introduced the two right away (it's my friend's husband). He then texted me from inside the bar to get a shooter (I declined).
Then he came and sat with me and the old friend/friend's husband where he again tried to get me to come back to his hotel room and again he told me that I was over thinking it.
I explained that it wasn't him (he was concerned about me not liking his body type) but that it was my morals that were preventing me from sleeping with him.
He texted at 3am saying: "hey"
I never responded.
SOOOOOOO super excited to see him again this weekend!
woot woot
-10, J
Yeah, I can't top that.
He started with lame pick-up lines like:
"you need a diamond in that ring"
"don't overthink it, just come to my room"
"you're overthinking it"
"I got screwed over by girls my own age so I'm looking for someone who's older and classy"
FAIL
He's the same age as -10, so that's crazy. BUT he makes $26K/MONTH. Which is even more crazy.
He bought me a "nice shooter" called a "lemon drop" which teaches you to never trust a pipeliner.
After all this he started getting possessive.
He came up to my table when I was talking to an old friend, and he immediatly introduced himself and gave my friend the staredown.
I introduced the two right away (it's my friend's husband). He then texted me from inside the bar to get a shooter (I declined).
Then he came and sat with me and the old friend/friend's husband where he again tried to get me to come back to his hotel room and again he told me that I was over thinking it.
I explained that it wasn't him (he was concerned about me not liking his body type) but that it was my morals that were preventing me from sleeping with him.
He texted at 3am saying: "hey"
I never responded.
SOOOOOOO super excited to see him again this weekend!
woot woot
-10, J
Yeah, I can't top that.
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
MARRY ME, CHANNING!
-10, J
I'm as surprised as you are that I saw MAGIC MIKE before V did.
CBC's film critic had given the movie a much more favourable review than I expected and the plot actually had serious points, V said (and I agree) that the movie didn't glamorize the lifestyle.
No doubt about it, Channing's dancing is hot.
+10, V
As I posted on my facebook:
ALL GIRLS SHOULD GO SEE THIS MOVIE.
Seriously hot shit on that screen. When Channing came out in that vest...doing his "fresh" routine...AHHHHH.
Best part: Police Costumes.
Channing: "Do you have something sharp that might stick me?"
Scared Woman: "No"
Channing: "Well I do"
Here's a pic of me and my boyfriend, Channing:
love it.
I'm as surprised as you are that I saw MAGIC MIKE before V did.
CBC's film critic had given the movie a much more favourable review than I expected and the plot actually had serious points, V said (and I agree) that the movie didn't glamorize the lifestyle.
No doubt about it, Channing's dancing is hot.
+10, V
As I posted on my facebook:
ALL GIRLS SHOULD GO SEE THIS MOVIE.
Seriously hot shit on that screen. When Channing came out in that vest...doing his "fresh" routine...AHHHHH.
Best part: Police Costumes.
Channing: "Do you have something sharp that might stick me?"
Scared Woman: "No"
Channing: "Well I do"
Here's a pic of me and my boyfriend, Channing:
Friday, June 29, 2012
Shout Out to Johnny Mac
Shout Out to:
Johnny Mac
Thanks for enacting the BNA in one of the best months of the entire year having a July long weekend is the best.
This guy:
Gambled (rather successfully)
Unsuccessfully crowd surfed after winning his first election victory
Drank excessively
Married his first cousin
+10, V
Back to the Bachelorette. My love is torn. I was first in love with Arie but now I'm also sort of in love with Jef and Sean. Emily has a really tough decision.
OH YEAH
going to the Justin Bieber concert in October.
on the floor
October 18
It's ok, though, I'm chaperoning some teenage girls (I just hope I don't cry more than them...or get kicked off of the stage...).
Going to my hometown for the weekend -- big news around town: Pipeliners are back for the summer (here's hoping I get me some dirty construction worker soooooon).
Which is worse? Pipeliners or Carnies? which, obviously reminds me that carnival season is upon us. BRING ON THE FREE FARRIS WHEEL RIDES you dirty carnies.
omb MAGIC MIKE comes out today. I'm going out with a bunch of girls on tuesday. gonna be c-raaaaazy. I don't think there's going to be a single unsatisfied girl this entire weekend -- next stop: VEGAS to see Joey Lawrence as a chippendale.
Difference a Decade Makes: -10, J has no idea what "blossom" is.
#holla
-10, J
Long.weekend.
Off to the beach and going to see fireworks.
Bachelorette is sort of annoying -- "uh, Emily -- I need to talk to you for a minute" YOU'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROSE CEREMONY, COME ON.
You know what I like? long distance calls with friends. Phone's are used less and less as actual phones and I miss that.
Happy Summer!
Back to the Bachelorette. My love is torn. I was first in love with Arie but now I'm also sort of in love with Jef and Sean. Emily has a really tough decision.
OH YEAH
going to the Justin Bieber concert in October.
on the floor
October 18
It's ok, though, I'm chaperoning some teenage girls (I just hope I don't cry more than them...or get kicked off of the stage...).
Going to my hometown for the weekend -- big news around town: Pipeliners are back for the summer (here's hoping I get me some dirty construction worker soooooon).
Which is worse? Pipeliners or Carnies? which, obviously reminds me that carnival season is upon us. BRING ON THE FREE FARRIS WHEEL RIDES you dirty carnies.
omb MAGIC MIKE comes out today. I'm going out with a bunch of girls on tuesday. gonna be c-raaaaazy. I don't think there's going to be a single unsatisfied girl this entire weekend -- next stop: VEGAS to see Joey Lawrence as a chippendale.
Difference a Decade Makes: -10, J has no idea what "blossom" is.
#holla
-10, J
Long.weekend.
Off to the beach and going to see fireworks.
Bachelorette is sort of annoying -- "uh, Emily -- I need to talk to you for a minute" YOU'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROSE CEREMONY, COME ON.
You know what I like? long distance calls with friends. Phone's are used less and less as actual phones and I miss that.
Happy Summer!
BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND
J went away on business for what was supposed to be a few weeks but ended up being a few months.
V is busy with work.
Our chances of meeting Ellen are getting further out of reach with each passing day. It’s sad.
-10, J
So much to say…so much to say.
V thought she had something with a guy from her past. She happened to mention it to me in an attempt at casual conversation (but was really like dropping a bomb). Things didn’t work out the way she might have liked. Some people are just better when both of you have a drink in hand.
I’ve learned that when I have to do laundry I end up digging deep in my closet for the less comfortable and more formal wardrobe options – this gets noticed around the office. Enough to make me actually do my laundry HOWEVER, I really don’t like drying my clothes in the dryer and humid conditions don’t work well for air drying clothes. We’re going on day 2 of formal and less-comfortable clothing.
The weather is fantastic. I love not winter.
Sunday, March 25, 2012
to use if e-mailing someone annoying
-10, J
V was just on her free vacation -- I haven't heard about it yet, but my guess is that it was pretty awesome.
On the topic of awesome things, here is something that you should use if you have to e-mail someone that's annoying:
http://www.zefrank.com/punc/
(let's be clear: the method described at the above link is not used in whole or in part in this blog)
V was just on her free vacation -- I haven't heard about it yet, but my guess is that it was pretty awesome.
On the topic of awesome things, here is something that you should use if you have to e-mail someone that's annoying:
http://www.zefrank.com/punc/
(let's be clear: the method described at the above link is not used in whole or in part in this blog)
Monday, March 12, 2012
#
-10, J
Texts I got last night included the following phrases:
+10, V
This week I got my hair 'did. It took 3 hours. Totally worth it. SO MANY people love it, because it's super hot and it is so ready for Cancun! I cannot believe I am leaving on the 17th. I also now got a pedicure and a shallac manicure.
Who is watching the Bachelor finale tonight???? I hate you Courtney!
-10, J
Just wanted to check: If someone tells you that what you're wearing looks "really comfortable" that means I look like a slob, right?
Texts I got last night included the following phrases:
- #winning #fridaysrock
- Challenge Accepted
- Let's get married
+10, V
This week I got my hair 'did. It took 3 hours. Totally worth it. SO MANY people love it, because it's super hot and it is so ready for Cancun! I cannot believe I am leaving on the 17th. I also now got a pedicure and a shallac manicure.
Who is watching the Bachelor finale tonight???? I hate you Courtney!
-10, J
Just wanted to check: If someone tells you that what you're wearing looks "really comfortable" that means I look like a slob, right?
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
GUESS WHO'S DEAD
+10, V
Do you know "The Monkees"? Davy Jones?
-10, J
I may have heard that a band called "the monkees" existed. maybe.
V's been singing the same line from one of their songs "heeeey we're the monkey's" all morning as she spreads the word around our office. It's something like a mission for her to share.
I've heard of Snookie before, but never watched "the Shore". Office reaction so far has been "well, it was only a matter of time" and "that poor child".
+10, V
Do you know "The Monkees"? Davy Jones?
DEAD
AND EVEN WORSE... SNOOKIE IS PREGNANT!
-10, J
I may have heard that a band called "the monkees" existed. maybe.
V's been singing the same line from one of their songs "heeeey we're the monkey's" all morning as she spreads the word around our office. It's something like a mission for her to share.
I've heard of Snookie before, but never watched "the Shore". Office reaction so far has been "well, it was only a matter of time" and "that poor child".
+10, V
TOMORROW IS GOING TO BE AWESOME -- I'll let you guess why.
Friday, February 24, 2012
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Ben's Hair & SURVIVOR ONE WORLD
-10, J
Did you know that we have a SURVIVOR pool here at the office? I can't remember if we've blogged about this before.
+10, V
We both agree that Troy has a case of "the ben" which means that he needs a haircut. Speaking of that paritcular issue, this twitter feed is perfect:
Things that we're waiting for the chance to say in real life:
oh boy, too bad people said this:
Bill: "Pet Peeves: Clichés "
Chelsea: "3 Words to Describe You: Funny, driven and bad ass."
Greg: "Inspiration in Life: Tarzan"
Jay (V's chosen boyfriend): "Why You Think You’ll “Survive” SURVIVOR: I have heart. "
Kat: "Inspiration in Life: Xena. She is the warrior princess"
Kim: "Personal Claim to Fame: I can figure out what animal a person would be within five minutes of meeting them"
Did you know that we have a SURVIVOR pool here at the office? I can't remember if we've blogged about this before.
+10, V
We both agree that Troy has a case of "the ben" which means that he needs a haircut. Speaking of that paritcular issue, this twitter feed is perfect:
I'm Bachelor Ben Flajnik's awesome, floppy hair. You might remember me from the head of the kid you had a crush on in middle school. And now I'm back!
Things that we're waiting for the chance to say in real life:
oh boy, too bad people said this:
Bill: "Pet Peeves: Clichés "
Chelsea: "3 Words to Describe You: Funny, driven and bad ass."
Greg: "Inspiration in Life: Tarzan"
Jay (V's chosen boyfriend): "Why You Think You’ll “Survive” SURVIVOR: I have heart. "
Kat: "Inspiration in Life: Xena. She is the warrior princess"
Kim: "Personal Claim to Fame: I can figure out what animal a person would be within five minutes of meeting them"
Friday, February 17, 2012
The Vow
+10, V
Ben picked friggin Courtney and whoever made this video is my hero.
Also, I'm on a health kick to prep for my trip -- already lost 4lbs (my goal is 10).
We have a long weekend coming up so everyone around the office is generally in a great mood -- who doesn't love extra time off?
-10, J
Saw "The Vow" last night.
Don't waste your time going to see it (believe me, I'm as disappointed about this as you are).
You know what freaks me out? Seeing doppelgangers of people that you haven't see in a while.
+10, V
There have been a few celebrity deaths since I last blogged about celebrity deaths. I've been telling everyone around the office.
-10, J
(she literally has yelled it to anyone within earshot)
+10, V
Soooooo, Whitney was a shocker. I remember exactly where I was when I found out about MJ and I'll remember exactly where I was when I found out about Whitney: on my way to get a sandwich at Tim Hortons.
Oh, did I tell you already? remember that boy that I made out with ... Well I wasn't going to blog about this part but then I realized it was too good to leav out.
Well, in the moment of seduction, I guess he thought it was sexy to rub his half swollen member against my knee. Yes, of course this will get you to be able to spend the night. Seriously??? I almost burst out laughing but I am not one to hurt someones feelings and make them feel like less of a man unless they really deserve it. I have to say it was a good try. I really hope he is having fun in Hawaii.
There... I feel better now that I got that off my chest!
Ben picked friggin Courtney and whoever made this video is my hero.
Also, I'm on a health kick to prep for my trip -- already lost 4lbs (my goal is 10).
We have a long weekend coming up so everyone around the office is generally in a great mood -- who doesn't love extra time off?
-10, J
Saw "The Vow" last night.
Don't waste your time going to see it (believe me, I'm as disappointed about this as you are).
You know what freaks me out? Seeing doppelgangers of people that you haven't see in a while.
+10, V
There have been a few celebrity deaths since I last blogged about celebrity deaths. I've been telling everyone around the office.
-10, J
(she literally has yelled it to anyone within earshot)
+10, V
Soooooo, Whitney was a shocker. I remember exactly where I was when I found out about MJ and I'll remember exactly where I was when I found out about Whitney: on my way to get a sandwich at Tim Hortons.
Oh, did I tell you already? remember that boy that I made out with ... Well I wasn't going to blog about this part but then I realized it was too good to leav out.
Well, in the moment of seduction, I guess he thought it was sexy to rub his half swollen member against my knee. Yes, of course this will get you to be able to spend the night. Seriously??? I almost burst out laughing but I am not one to hurt someones feelings and make them feel like less of a man unless they really deserve it. I have to say it was a good try. I really hope he is having fun in Hawaii.
There... I feel better now that I got that off my chest!
f to the r to the e to the e
+10, V
Guess what I got today.....
MY NEW MARY KAY COMPACT.
Check it out, there's a secret compartment.
Guess what I got today.....
MY NEW MARY KAY COMPACT.
Check it out, there's a secret compartment.
That's right, It's awesome!
-10, J
I don't wear blush.
In fact, I know very few people my age that wear blush. This is a difference that the decade between us makes.
+10, V
Fine, if you don't think that's cool then try this on for size:
-10, J
So, I pick V up on our way to work and she looks...excited, or maybe even upset. And she says:
"You will not believe what just happened."
And then she goes on to tell me ...
+10, V
So, my friend M calls me up and tells me that she just
WON A TRIP TO AN ALL INCLUSIVE RESORT IN CANCUN AND SHE'S TAKING ME.
That's right -- I get a week of bliss for F to the R to the E to the E
I'm so excited that I barely know what to say!!
Oh wait... I know what to say, I LOVE YOU M!
That's right -- I get a week of bliss for F to the R to the E to the E
I'm so excited that I barely know what to say!!
Oh wait... I know what to say, I LOVE YOU M!
Monday, February 13, 2012
What a Weekend!
+10, V
Well, -10, J has been off work Friday and Monday... Lucky Girl!
This weekend I decided to go to see my family in our small town and wow... I really could have swore I was the -10 this weekend. Let's see... Friday I went to one of the two local bars and met a guy from Calgary, where I used to live. Besides having that in common, he was going on a trip to Hawaii which he won through work, (He left on Sunday at 6 am) I am going on a free trip next month, we went outside for a very bad habit and turns out we smoke the same brand... Which is really weird because I smoke menthol cheap brand cigarettes (Only on occasion and especially when drinking). By the end of the night, which was approximately 4:30 am we had kissed and then I sent him on his way. He did however say we could get married so he could take me on his free trip to Hawaii.
I will most likely never see this person again, but we are now facebook friends and it always makes a good story.
Well, -10, J has been off work Friday and Monday... Lucky Girl!
This weekend I decided to go to see my family in our small town and wow... I really could have swore I was the -10 this weekend. Let's see... Friday I went to one of the two local bars and met a guy from Calgary, where I used to live. Besides having that in common, he was going on a trip to Hawaii which he won through work, (He left on Sunday at 6 am) I am going on a free trip next month, we went outside for a very bad habit and turns out we smoke the same brand... Which is really weird because I smoke menthol cheap brand cigarettes (Only on occasion and especially when drinking). By the end of the night, which was approximately 4:30 am we had kissed and then I sent him on his way. He did however say we could get married so he could take me on his free trip to Hawaii.
I will most likely never see this person again, but we are now facebook friends and it always makes a good story.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Front Row,,,
-10, J
...to Beauty & the Best Musical.
I'd forgotten how much I love live theatre. Great show. Thanks, V, Well really thanks to her friend M who was not able to make it!
Hi-lights include: V peeking into the orchestra pit (which was RIGHT in front of us) and saying "that guy playing the clarinet is really hot" and me saying "that's an oboe".
Has anyone ever heard of calling the orchestra pit an "f hole"? I'm too scared to google it but my roommate was convinced that's what the pit was called...I'm pretty sure he got caught up in some conversation about f holes in violins/violas/cellos/double basses and missed something.
...to Beauty & the Best Musical.
I'd forgotten how much I love live theatre. Great show. Thanks, V, Well really thanks to her friend M who was not able to make it!
Hi-lights include: V peeking into the orchestra pit (which was RIGHT in front of us) and saying "that guy playing the clarinet is really hot" and me saying "that's an oboe".
Has anyone ever heard of calling the orchestra pit an "f hole"? I'm too scared to google it but my roommate was convinced that's what the pit was called...I'm pretty sure he got caught up in some conversation about f holes in violins/violas/cellos/double basses and missed something.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Successful virus...
-10, J
...did you know that some hacker somewhere struck gold (so to speak) when they created an e-mail virus and sent it out with the subject line "i love you"?
It's true, people just want to be loved.
On that note; anyone interested?
I think V should apply -- what's the harm?
...did you know that some hacker somewhere struck gold (so to speak) when they created an e-mail virus and sent it out with the subject line "i love you"?
It's true, people just want to be loved.
On that note; anyone interested?
I think V should apply -- what's the harm?
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Back to the Beginning
-10, J
V's been hassling me about how we've strayed from our mandate (and, coincidentally, the title of this blog). So, we have a little story for you about the difference a decade makes.
+10, V
It's true, we barely ever talk about the differences between us. If we want to get on Ellen, we'd better start talking about our original idea.
So, we live where the weather can get pretty cold (see previous post with the weather network screen shot). The other day I went up to J's desk and said, "so...maybe...if you want to...we could go to [insert name of grocery story here] on our way home...?" and J agreed (-10, J of course I agreed, I don't want you to starve!). So, we went. And it was a particularly cold day, the kind where you breathe in and when the cold air hits the back of your throat you have to cough a bit to recover because it's almost choking you. J parked the car and we got out, me in my parka and sorel boots and toque and scarf and mitts and J took off her hat. Seriously?!?!?! It's an unspeakably cold temperature outside and her head is uncovered. That my friends is a major difference that the decade between us makes. When you get to a certain age, staying warm is much more important than looking good.
I guess another difference is the fact that I have Sorel boots and she still wears fashion boots :) The fashion boots do look warm, but not Sorel warm.
-10, J
I don't deny any part of that story.
In my defense: the hat that I'd grabbed that particular day was a snowboarding hat and there were only about ten steps from my car to the door of the store, so it was unnecessary and I probably would have taken the hat off as soon as we'd gotten in and then set it down when going to pick something else up and then accidently forgotten about it and then gotten all the way home before realizing that my hat was missing and that would have been annoying.
V's been hassling me about how we've strayed from our mandate (and, coincidentally, the title of this blog). So, we have a little story for you about the difference a decade makes.
+10, V
It's true, we barely ever talk about the differences between us. If we want to get on Ellen, we'd better start talking about our original idea.
So, we live where the weather can get pretty cold (see previous post with the weather network screen shot). The other day I went up to J's desk and said, "so...maybe...if you want to...we could go to [insert name of grocery story here] on our way home...?" and J agreed (-10, J of course I agreed, I don't want you to starve!). So, we went. And it was a particularly cold day, the kind where you breathe in and when the cold air hits the back of your throat you have to cough a bit to recover because it's almost choking you. J parked the car and we got out, me in my parka and sorel boots and toque and scarf and mitts and J took off her hat. Seriously?!?!?! It's an unspeakably cold temperature outside and her head is uncovered. That my friends is a major difference that the decade between us makes. When you get to a certain age, staying warm is much more important than looking good.
I guess another difference is the fact that I have Sorel boots and she still wears fashion boots :) The fashion boots do look warm, but not Sorel warm.
-10, J
I don't deny any part of that story.
In my defense: the hat that I'd grabbed that particular day was a snowboarding hat and there were only about ten steps from my car to the door of the store, so it was unnecessary and I probably would have taken the hat off as soon as we'd gotten in and then set it down when going to pick something else up and then accidently forgotten about it and then gotten all the way home before realizing that my hat was missing and that would have been annoying.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
The Best Part
-10, J
...of my weekend is un-blog-alble. Sorry.
Watched The Wedding Date with my aunt. Great movie.
I don't like Ben. Not even as a person. He's been bothering me all season.
Tonnes of people from our office are gone today and tomorrow for a conference-type thing and this place feels like a ghost town.
+10, V
Went home this weekend. Everything happened as per usual, I loved it (especially the French Onion Soup).
Going out to the movies tonight to see the Descendants -- and to Applebee's for dinner! George Clooney and a chicken fajita rollup makes a pretty good night for me.
Ben and Courtney totally had sex on the beach , and now he's talking all this shit about being "open" and that means that he's going to choose her. But she'll probably say "no". I really hate Ben and I think his greasy hair needs to be cut. If he doesn't pick Casey B then he deserves to be unhappy. Yes, I know I take this garbage show a little to seriously but I can't help it!
Best part of my weekend.... A young twenty something pipeliner told me he thought my mom was my gramma and that I looked 23. That's right, 23! He may have been a little intoxicated but not enough to alter his vision.
...of my weekend is un-blog-alble. Sorry.
Watched The Wedding Date with my aunt. Great movie.
I don't like Ben. Not even as a person. He's been bothering me all season.
Tonnes of people from our office are gone today and tomorrow for a conference-type thing and this place feels like a ghost town.
+10, V
Went home this weekend. Everything happened as per usual, I loved it (especially the French Onion Soup).
Going out to the movies tonight to see the Descendants -- and to Applebee's for dinner! George Clooney and a chicken fajita rollup makes a pretty good night for me.
Ben and Courtney totally had sex on the beach , and now he's talking all this shit about being "open" and that means that he's going to choose her. But she'll probably say "no". I really hate Ben and I think his greasy hair needs to be cut. If he doesn't pick Casey B then he deserves to be unhappy. Yes, I know I take this garbage show a little to seriously but I can't help it!
Best part of my weekend.... A young twenty something pipeliner told me he thought my mom was my gramma and that I looked 23. That's right, 23! He may have been a little intoxicated but not enough to alter his vision.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
-38C
I like it that sometimes even the internet doesn't know what's wrong, because that means there's still some mystery in the world.
-10, J
Heard my first "hits of 2011 mashup" on the radio yesterday, 2011 brought us some really great (and really awful) music. And I knew most of it. Oh boy.
Last year in January, V and I listed through the top 100 songs of 2010. We'd be continuing the tradition except since our break up it just hasn't been the same.
+10, V
It has been sooooo friggin cold outstide that I feel like I have been trapped inside my apartment. I really need to go grocery shopping but it's just to cold to go across the street! I watched American Idol last night and absolutely loved the last guy they put through from Savanah (sp?) Georgia. Don't know his name of course but he will now join the rest of my tv land boyfriends. Tonight I am skyping with my friends while I watching my vampire boyfriends Damon, Stephan and dare I say... Klaus. Yes, I think I am falling in love with him as well. I seriously need to get out of tv land and find a real boyfriend. Maybe when the weather gets warmer. I think 2012 might really be the year it happens :)
Can you read this? It's going to feel like -38 tonight. That's really cold. They don't even want to TELL us how cold it'll feel tomorrow (probably because it's too depressing).
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
On the Twitter
Some of the people that V follows on twitter:
Still trying to get celebs to tweet me back -- just tweeted Zooey today, I'm really hoping that this is the one. I love celebrity gossip and am always on top of what's going on. One of my dreams is to be tweeted by a celebrity. The other is to go to a live taping of the Ellen show and of course Saturday Night Live (preferably one that is hosted by Jimmy Fallon).
Celebs tweeted so far:
Next I might try tweeting my favourite vampire of all time Damon Salvatore (Ian Sommerhalder) but I like him better as a mean vampire.
Ever heard of a purse swap?
You don't swap actual purses, you swap stuff from your purse. It's a game a friend of mine B and I came up with one drunk evening. You really can get a lot of cool stuff out of it.
Things I have received from a purse swap:
-10, J
One of our friends, V, is off to NYC. And we really hope that he brings us back a post card. *fingers crossed*
While I didn't watch the Bachelor this week V's filled me in: Apparently the funeral director from a different season came to try to steal Ben away and he turned her down (+10, V: that was a bad decision) and the girl that brought her grandma with her during the first episode actually left the show. And...someone fainted but I forget who. I can't be bothered to learn the names of all these girls -- I'll wait until the final 5 (ok, maybe the final 2).
- Betty White
- CNN
- The TV Guide
- Snooki
- NKOTB (3 of 5)
- Ashton Kucher
- The Ellen Show
- J Woww (from Jersey Shore)
- People Magazine
- Zooey Deschanel
- Perez Hilton
- Conan O'Brian
- Jimmy Fallon
Still trying to get celebs to tweet me back -- just tweeted Zooey today, I'm really hoping that this is the one. I love celebrity gossip and am always on top of what's going on. One of my dreams is to be tweeted by a celebrity. The other is to go to a live taping of the Ellen show and of course Saturday Night Live (preferably one that is hosted by Jimmy Fallon).
Celebs tweeted so far:
- Boston Rob
- Brittney Spears
- Justin Bieber
- Joey McIntyre
Next I might try tweeting my favourite vampire of all time Damon Salvatore (Ian Sommerhalder) but I like him better as a mean vampire.
Ever heard of a purse swap?
You don't swap actual purses, you swap stuff from your purse. It's a game a friend of mine B and I came up with one drunk evening. You really can get a lot of cool stuff out of it.
Things I have received from a purse swap:
- GasX
- EmergenC
- Dolce & Gabanna light blue perfume sample
- Hand sanitizer from Bath & Body Works
-10, J
One of our friends, V, is off to NYC. And we really hope that he brings us back a post card. *fingers crossed*
While I didn't watch the Bachelor this week V's filled me in: Apparently the funeral director from a different season came to try to steal Ben away and he turned her down (+10, V: that was a bad decision) and the girl that brought her grandma with her during the first episode actually left the show. And...someone fainted but I forget who. I can't be bothered to learn the names of all these girls -- I'll wait until the final 5 (ok, maybe the final 2).
Monday, January 16, 2012
Let's calm down
We all know that women can be crazy, but this group from THE BACHELOR is a new level.
-10, J
Honestly, this is going to be a difficult season for me to get through, I can only take so many levels of backstabbing drama. seriously.
Had a good weekend and spent some of it with a new friend, L. I like getting to know new people.
Watched Sixteen Candles, so glad that I'm not in high school anymore.
+10,V
This weekend I finally took down my Christmas tree. This is very hard for me because I love watching tv with only the tree lit up and now it is gone for another ten months! Other than that it was a pretty quiet weekend. The mornings started with coffee and baileys and I watched a few movies too. I saw the Disney cartoon Tangled... I even cried! I saw horrible bosses and was shocked at Jennifer Anniston's part in it. I must say, she is so beautiful and does not seem to age. On Saturday night at 10 pm I decided to end my quiet evening with a bubble bath and glass of wine. Seriously great way to relax right before bed. I am going to have to stock up on wine and make this a nightly thing.
Sunday was the Golden Globes which was okay. Ricky Gervais was pretty well behaved, Madonna was a disaster with her first 3 seconds of her acceptance speech using an accent and then it was lost after that... What a joke! I love the show Once Upon a Time and so I even stayed up past my bed time to watch it.
Tonight is the Bachelor and I can't wait to see who faints during the rose ceremony. Someone from a past season is supposed to come on the show for a chance with Ben which sends all the girls into super bitch, crying CRAZY mode! Love it!
On a side note, it is a new year and I am finalizing my resolutions. One thing I know for sure is that I want a treadmill so I can walk everyday and maybe, just maybe even start running.
-10, J
Honestly, this is going to be a difficult season for me to get through, I can only take so many levels of backstabbing drama. seriously.
Had a good weekend and spent some of it with a new friend, L. I like getting to know new people.
Watched Sixteen Candles, so glad that I'm not in high school anymore.
+10,V
This weekend I finally took down my Christmas tree. This is very hard for me because I love watching tv with only the tree lit up and now it is gone for another ten months! Other than that it was a pretty quiet weekend. The mornings started with coffee and baileys and I watched a few movies too. I saw the Disney cartoon Tangled... I even cried! I saw horrible bosses and was shocked at Jennifer Anniston's part in it. I must say, she is so beautiful and does not seem to age. On Saturday night at 10 pm I decided to end my quiet evening with a bubble bath and glass of wine. Seriously great way to relax right before bed. I am going to have to stock up on wine and make this a nightly thing.
Sunday was the Golden Globes which was okay. Ricky Gervais was pretty well behaved, Madonna was a disaster with her first 3 seconds of her acceptance speech using an accent and then it was lost after that... What a joke! I love the show Once Upon a Time and so I even stayed up past my bed time to watch it.
Tonight is the Bachelor and I can't wait to see who faints during the rose ceremony. Someone from a past season is supposed to come on the show for a chance with Ben which sends all the girls into super bitch, crying CRAZY mode! Love it!
On a side note, it is a new year and I am finalizing my resolutions. One thing I know for sure is that I want a treadmill so I can walk everyday and maybe, just maybe even start running.
Friday, January 13, 2012
Happy 2012!
omb, so much to say...it's been so long (but, apparently that's how we roll)
CHRISTMAS PARTY
V partied it up until 4:00 am and had the DJ busting out all the classic 90's rap songs on the dance floor, J was tired and left early(ish). Food was good. In typical fashion V borrowed the following items:
After the work Christmas party we went back to a hotel where I also found a brand new shower cap and a makeup remover cloth. Yes I know I have a problem... It only happens when I drink and I would never take from a friend.
OVER THE HOLIDAYS
+10, V
Well the holidays were pretty crazy for me. From December 23 until January 2 the earliest I went to bed which was only one night was 12:30 a.m. The average bed time for me during the holidays was 3:30 a.m. I also really got a lot of use out of my Bieber under the Mistletoe CD and also found a male friend who loved that song as much as I do. Many a dance parties happened to this song. My new years was spent at the local legion where my family lives and it was $40 including a DJ, all you could drink, eat and a ride home or to a house party in town which is where I used my ride to. Needless to say, another late night which I think ended at 5 or 5:30 a.m.
Oh, forgot to mention on Boxing day my sister C and I watched 7 hours of swamp people. Don't really know why I just think we both were so tired and no one wanted to move or change the channel. For those of you who don't know this show it is about hunting alligators in a 30 day period per year. It was interesting to say the least.
-10, J
Holidays were great -- didn't do too much. No "swamp people" marathons or anything cool like that. Just eating a lot of food and hanging out with the fam. Watched Rounders and it was great. Watched other stuff too...just can't remember. Went to a few parties, hung out with a few friends...loved the time off.
Also visited this place (V was sooooo jealous):
NEW OFFICE
Oh yeah, we moved so (prepare yourselves, because this is pretty bad news) we don't share an office anymore and went through a...
BREAK UP
It's still in that awkward phase right after when we see each other a lot and aren't quite sure how to treat one another because there are still those feelings that meant so much for so long...you know how it is. If we're being totally truthful (and, let's be honest, we always are) that's part of the reason that we haven't been updating. Because it's hard to choose who gets the pet after the break up.
-10, J
I think we can still patch things up, we'll just have to both commit to spending more time together.
+10, V
It's so hard to do long distance but I think this is just something we have to go through and we'll be back together and stronger than ever at the end of it.
VITAMIN TIME
Similar to Jersey Shore's "t-shirt time" we now take vitamin's (almost) every day. Right now we are on the Vitamin D and once we go shopping we hope to upgrade to the C as well. It's nice to have activities that we can share and it gives us an excuse to spend time together...just us.
FREE LUNCHES
This week I've had free lunch every day - it's excellent.
Dear Corporate,
Keep those lunches coming.
Sincerely,
V&J
CHRISTMAS PARTY
V partied it up until 4:00 am and had the DJ busting out all the classic 90's rap songs on the dance floor, J was tired and left early(ish). Food was good. In typical fashion V borrowed the following items:
- a pear shape ornament full of glitter
- a gold ball ornament, and.....
- a footlong red glitter christmas tree from the bartender
After the work Christmas party we went back to a hotel where I also found a brand new shower cap and a makeup remover cloth. Yes I know I have a problem... It only happens when I drink and I would never take from a friend.
OVER THE HOLIDAYS
+10, V
Well the holidays were pretty crazy for me. From December 23 until January 2 the earliest I went to bed which was only one night was 12:30 a.m. The average bed time for me during the holidays was 3:30 a.m. I also really got a lot of use out of my Bieber under the Mistletoe CD and also found a male friend who loved that song as much as I do. Many a dance parties happened to this song. My new years was spent at the local legion where my family lives and it was $40 including a DJ, all you could drink, eat and a ride home or to a house party in town which is where I used my ride to. Needless to say, another late night which I think ended at 5 or 5:30 a.m.
Oh, forgot to mention on Boxing day my sister C and I watched 7 hours of swamp people. Don't really know why I just think we both were so tired and no one wanted to move or change the channel. For those of you who don't know this show it is about hunting alligators in a 30 day period per year. It was interesting to say the least.
-10, J
Holidays were great -- didn't do too much. No "swamp people" marathons or anything cool like that. Just eating a lot of food and hanging out with the fam. Watched Rounders and it was great. Watched other stuff too...just can't remember. Went to a few parties, hung out with a few friends...loved the time off.
Also visited this place (V was sooooo jealous):
NEW OFFICE
Oh yeah, we moved so (prepare yourselves, because this is pretty bad news) we don't share an office anymore and went through a...
BREAK UP
It's still in that awkward phase right after when we see each other a lot and aren't quite sure how to treat one another because there are still those feelings that meant so much for so long...you know how it is. If we're being totally truthful (and, let's be honest, we always are) that's part of the reason that we haven't been updating. Because it's hard to choose who gets the pet after the break up.
-10, J
I think we can still patch things up, we'll just have to both commit to spending more time together.
+10, V
It's so hard to do long distance but I think this is just something we have to go through and we'll be back together and stronger than ever at the end of it.
VITAMIN TIME
Similar to Jersey Shore's "t-shirt time" we now take vitamin's (almost) every day. Right now we are on the Vitamin D and once we go shopping we hope to upgrade to the C as well. It's nice to have activities that we can share and it gives us an excuse to spend time together...just us.
FREE LUNCHES
This week I've had free lunch every day - it's excellent.
Dear Corporate,
Keep those lunches coming.
Sincerely,
V&J
HAPPY 2012 TO YOU ALL
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