+10, V
There was a men's golf tournament in my hometown this weekend.
On Friday night there were a bunch of female strippers at the bar. Of course, I went to the back of the bar when they came on (and, let's be honest, this is the first time that I've seen strippers and was NOT in the front row).
All I saw was them sliding around on a blanket on stage...they just put their butts up in the air and got $5. They just slid around and covered up with the blanket and then left. NO DANCING?!? lame
The closing act was "Talia"...as if that's her real name. I was hoping for "Porche" or something cool. If I was a stripper my name would be "Presley" (obvs).
I'm going on VACAY this friday and will be gone for a week. Hopefully I'll take some notes and have some exciting stories upon my return.
love it
-10, J
Let me summarize V's "notes"
"I slept in"
"I tanned by my pool"
My motto for the summer: "A good friend brings a bottle of wine to share. A best friend brings two."
The summer of weddings continues -- this weekend is # 6 of 9.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Friday, July 20, 2012
Rebecca Black Day
+10, V
Well, I finished the first book, and am about 1/4 of the way into book 2.
I hope to get more reading done this weekend. Looking for my 20-something Christian Grey ... could be disguised as a Carnie or Pipeliner...who knows?
Going to the Legion tonight for the meat draw, haven't been in a while, should be the usual awesome-ness.
Really hoping to find another 20-something who wants to put diamonds in my rings and wants me to sleep with him and thinks that I'm younger than my sisters.
Just another adventurous weekend in a small town...you never know what's going to happen.
-10, J
V's a big talker. "another 20-something who wants to sleep with me"?? She didn't even let the guy from last weekend sleep with her...but, let's be honest; all of this is good for the blog so, who cares.
Dear Ellen,
Please get us on your show. Will you let us if V sleeps with a Pipeliner?
Sincerely,
J
p.s. V thinks that we should now be aiming for Howard Stern, but I don't know who that is.
Well, I finished the first book, and am about 1/4 of the way into book 2.
I hope to get more reading done this weekend. Looking for my 20-something Christian Grey ... could be disguised as a Carnie or Pipeliner...who knows?
Going to the Legion tonight for the meat draw, haven't been in a while, should be the usual awesome-ness.
Really hoping to find another 20-something who wants to put diamonds in my rings and wants me to sleep with him and thinks that I'm younger than my sisters.
Just another adventurous weekend in a small town...you never know what's going to happen.
-10, J
V's a big talker. "another 20-something who wants to sleep with me"?? She didn't even let the guy from last weekend sleep with her...but, let's be honest; all of this is good for the blog so, who cares.
Dear Ellen,
Please get us on your show. Will you let us if V sleeps with a Pipeliner?
Sincerely,
J
p.s. V thinks that we should now be aiming for Howard Stern, but I don't know who that is.
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
50 Shades
+10, V
Let's just say that after the first love scene I needed a drink and a smoke.
When reading in front of my nephews I felt...dirty. Couldn't do it.
I read for 3 hours straight -- and am 90 pages away from being done book 1.
I think I'm in love with Mr. Grey...minus all the S&M stuff. I feel like all men should read it because woman are looking for his personality, confidence and masculinity...he's a man. He's just a bit of a control freak and is into S&M.
I guess I could imagine why she tries out the red room of pain. In my lifetime I have lusted over one man probably the same way that she lusts after him. But I never even made out with my guy. Now he's married with a kid and is apparently a slob.
When he smiled I'd need a drink, and to sit down.
Has any woman ever slept with the guy that makes her THAT crazy? Really??
This is some dirty shit. Like dirty.
I've experienced some dirty things in my life and I still have a hard time talking about all this erotic shit.
-10, J
Never read 'em.
Oh boy, now the co-workers are getting into it...I'm one of 3 in my department that hasn't started the series.
Let's just say that after the first love scene I needed a drink and a smoke.
When reading in front of my nephews I felt...dirty. Couldn't do it.
I read for 3 hours straight -- and am 90 pages away from being done book 1.
I think I'm in love with Mr. Grey...minus all the S&M stuff. I feel like all men should read it because woman are looking for his personality, confidence and masculinity...he's a man. He's just a bit of a control freak and is into S&M.
I guess I could imagine why she tries out the red room of pain. In my lifetime I have lusted over one man probably the same way that she lusts after him. But I never even made out with my guy. Now he's married with a kid and is apparently a slob.
When he smiled I'd need a drink, and to sit down.
Has any woman ever slept with the guy that makes her THAT crazy? Really??
This is some dirty shit. Like dirty.
I've experienced some dirty things in my life and I still have a hard time talking about all this erotic shit.
-10, J
Never read 'em.
Oh boy, now the co-workers are getting into it...I'm one of 3 in my department that hasn't started the series.
Monday, July 16, 2012
Arnold (the Jewish) Schwarzenegger
+10, V
So, basically what happened was my sisters made me go to the bar around MIDNIGHT (I wasn't keen on the idea, because this is already 3 hours past my bedtime).
We walked there and got a drink and people-watched the 30ish people that were in the bar.
A v-neck-wearing kid (age: 25) comes up to us and starts chatting. He broke up with his g/f 6 months ago and he was heartbroken. I felt the need to give him some sage advice -- namely that it would probably take a year to get over her.
I could tell that he was getting pretty drunk and he sort of wandered off.
We sat down at a table and there was an East Indain guy (that I know) sitting with us. V-neck kid (who was sitting beside me at the time) turned towards me and said "I'm a little bit racist, shouldn't that guy be bombing soemthing?" He then paused and said "I'm a Jew". I turned to him and said "Actually, he's really nice and I know him"
V-neck kid was really drunk, I could tell -- he's probably really nice...didn't seem like he was used to being as drunk as he was.
V-neck kid then looked at me and said "I can tell that I've offended you...this is a bit of an awkward moment. I'm going to go mingle for a while. I'll be back...you know...'cause my name's Arnold. get it?"
I was polite and smiled and then turned to my sister and we were like "wtf, did this just happen??"
Then v-neck kid comes back and he told me that he sells farm equipment and makes $42K/year. He wants to buy a house and a car. He talked about wanting to go visit his 40-something sister who has kids that are "bastards".
Thank god that 'last call' came at that moment and the lights came on. We said our goodbyes but not before good 'ol Arnold asked for a hug. He also guessed that I was 23.
LOVE HIM.
My sister was ticked because she's younger than me but people always assume that I'm younger. BOO YAH.
-10, J
Cabin weekends are my favourite.
24 of beer
26 of vodka
4 lime-aids from concentrate
= 10L of fun
So, basically what happened was my sisters made me go to the bar around MIDNIGHT (I wasn't keen on the idea, because this is already 3 hours past my bedtime).
We walked there and got a drink and people-watched the 30ish people that were in the bar.
A v-neck-wearing kid (age: 25) comes up to us and starts chatting. He broke up with his g/f 6 months ago and he was heartbroken. I felt the need to give him some sage advice -- namely that it would probably take a year to get over her.
I could tell that he was getting pretty drunk and he sort of wandered off.
We sat down at a table and there was an East Indain guy (that I know) sitting with us. V-neck kid (who was sitting beside me at the time) turned towards me and said "I'm a little bit racist, shouldn't that guy be bombing soemthing?" He then paused and said "I'm a Jew". I turned to him and said "Actually, he's really nice and I know him"
V-neck kid was really drunk, I could tell -- he's probably really nice...didn't seem like he was used to being as drunk as he was.
V-neck kid then looked at me and said "I can tell that I've offended you...this is a bit of an awkward moment. I'm going to go mingle for a while. I'll be back...you know...'cause my name's Arnold. get it?"
I was polite and smiled and then turned to my sister and we were like "wtf, did this just happen??"
Then v-neck kid comes back and he told me that he sells farm equipment and makes $42K/year. He wants to buy a house and a car. He talked about wanting to go visit his 40-something sister who has kids that are "bastards".
Thank god that 'last call' came at that moment and the lights came on. We said our goodbyes but not before good 'ol Arnold asked for a hug. He also guessed that I was 23.
LOVE HIM.
My sister was ticked because she's younger than me but people always assume that I'm younger. BOO YAH.
-10, J
Cabin weekends are my favourite.
24 of beer
26 of vodka
4 lime-aids from concentrate
= 10L of fun
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Pipeliner Boyfriend
+10, V
He started with lame pick-up lines like:
"you need a diamond in that ring"
"don't overthink it, just come to my room"
"you're overthinking it"
"I got screwed over by girls my own age so I'm looking for someone who's older and classy"
FAIL
He's the same age as -10, so that's crazy. BUT he makes $26K/MONTH. Which is even more crazy.
He bought me a "nice shooter" called a "lemon drop" which teaches you to never trust a pipeliner.
After all this he started getting possessive.
He came up to my table when I was talking to an old friend, and he immediatly introduced himself and gave my friend the staredown.
I introduced the two right away (it's my friend's husband). He then texted me from inside the bar to get a shooter (I declined).
Then he came and sat with me and the old friend/friend's husband where he again tried to get me to come back to his hotel room and again he told me that I was over thinking it.
I explained that it wasn't him (he was concerned about me not liking his body type) but that it was my morals that were preventing me from sleeping with him.
He texted at 3am saying: "hey"
I never responded.
SOOOOOOO super excited to see him again this weekend!
woot woot
-10, J
Yeah, I can't top that.
He started with lame pick-up lines like:
"you need a diamond in that ring"
"don't overthink it, just come to my room"
"you're overthinking it"
"I got screwed over by girls my own age so I'm looking for someone who's older and classy"
FAIL
He's the same age as -10, so that's crazy. BUT he makes $26K/MONTH. Which is even more crazy.
He bought me a "nice shooter" called a "lemon drop" which teaches you to never trust a pipeliner.
After all this he started getting possessive.
He came up to my table when I was talking to an old friend, and he immediatly introduced himself and gave my friend the staredown.
I introduced the two right away (it's my friend's husband). He then texted me from inside the bar to get a shooter (I declined).
Then he came and sat with me and the old friend/friend's husband where he again tried to get me to come back to his hotel room and again he told me that I was over thinking it.
I explained that it wasn't him (he was concerned about me not liking his body type) but that it was my morals that were preventing me from sleeping with him.
He texted at 3am saying: "hey"
I never responded.
SOOOOOOO super excited to see him again this weekend!
woot woot
-10, J
Yeah, I can't top that.
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
MARRY ME, CHANNING!
-10, J
I'm as surprised as you are that I saw MAGIC MIKE before V did.
CBC's film critic had given the movie a much more favourable review than I expected and the plot actually had serious points, V said (and I agree) that the movie didn't glamorize the lifestyle.
No doubt about it, Channing's dancing is hot.
+10, V
As I posted on my facebook:
ALL GIRLS SHOULD GO SEE THIS MOVIE.
Seriously hot shit on that screen. When Channing came out in that vest...doing his "fresh" routine...AHHHHH.
Best part: Police Costumes.
Channing: "Do you have something sharp that might stick me?"
Scared Woman: "No"
Channing: "Well I do"
Here's a pic of me and my boyfriend, Channing:
love it.
I'm as surprised as you are that I saw MAGIC MIKE before V did.
CBC's film critic had given the movie a much more favourable review than I expected and the plot actually had serious points, V said (and I agree) that the movie didn't glamorize the lifestyle.
No doubt about it, Channing's dancing is hot.
+10, V
As I posted on my facebook:
ALL GIRLS SHOULD GO SEE THIS MOVIE.
Seriously hot shit on that screen. When Channing came out in that vest...doing his "fresh" routine...AHHHHH.
Best part: Police Costumes.
Channing: "Do you have something sharp that might stick me?"
Scared Woman: "No"
Channing: "Well I do"
Here's a pic of me and my boyfriend, Channing:
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