Thank you

To all those people who go above and beyond to correct mistakes that are really none of their business:

Usually you're annoying and should stop being a know-it-all.

But today, you did very well.

Watch Girls Online Free

-10, J

So I really like the HBO show "Girls", but couldn't find a legit site to watch it on.
What do I do? Like anyone of my generation, I turn to google for the answer. I'm no stranger to an efficient google query so I typed in the most relevant words:

Watch Girls Online Free

That's not a good google search, my friends. Not good at all.

No, I didn't click on anything unsavory. I actually found my show.

Just as I was getting comfortable BOOM, a notice from the Canadian Pacific Government takes over my screen informing me of a $100 fine that I owed for a given list of illegal activities. They conveniently provided me with two potential methods of payment to pay the fine. That Canadian Pacific Government thinks of everything.

No, I didn't put my credit card information into either site. But I was still worried for my laptop. We've been together for 6.5 years and, like any good relationship, I want it to last just a bit longer (even though I know it's ultimately doomed).

I brought the laptop to my work friend who is also a tech nerd. He fixed it. I'd give him a shout out if this wasn't an anonymous blog.

You know who you are. A thousand thanks for saving my longest computer relationship.



+10, V

everyone

*clears throat*

EVERYONE?!

I have an announcement.

*dramatic pause*

I'd like you all to know that I have started something that may be the start of a long-term committment.

It was sort of a set-up, and I wasn't sure about going, but I'm so glad I did because this is really working out. I won't be surprised if I get frustrated every now and then, but there's a really positive vibe around this. Yes, you guessed it, I've started KNITTING.

I've been calling myself a grandma for some time now (due to my early-to-bed habit), and new venture really adds to this persona.

Even Damon likes it.

Looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong Day

-10, J

Today is passing at a glacial pace and V and I are having trouble focusing.

+10, V

I feel a need to let you all know that this blog is


brace yourself




A LIE




You can take a moment to digest this disappointing information.

Let me explain: I'm currently only 9 years older than J. *pause for gasp* This blog will continue to be a lie for a few more months. I'll let you know when we're being truthful again.

Ricki Lake and Jef Probst have started their own shows and they're doing all this feel-good stuff. It's like they're trying to be Oprah...but without the free shit. It's nice but that's not going to last long.

X factor starts tonight. A few of the hosts recently came back from rehab -- looking forward to that.  We haven't really seen Brittney since the head-shaving episode...should be interesting. Chloe is supposed to be the host...whatever.

VampD, Oct 11 (LESS THAN ONE MONTH AWAY), so excited. SO.EXCITED.

My weekends have been pretty boring. My sister is now living with me and we seem to drink a lot and re-arrange furniture.

We are also in constant competition about who can get the highest Bejewelled Blitz score. That jerk just called to say that she beat my high score from last night.

Loooooooong weekend

*Canadian

+10, V

Off to my hometown for the annual festival this weekend, who doesn't love FREE corn on the cob? #noseriously

Got tomorrow off -- leaving at 4 today...living the dream. Will try again to get some pics of my pipeliner boys.

Looking forward to all the bar fights that seem to happen between 1 and 2 AM, because people from other small towns come to visit. People from small towns seem to have missed the memo that came out after the original FOOTLOOSE...it's not cool to beat up people from other small towns.

In case it's unclear: leave the girls from the other town alone. If they're halfway decent looking, they've got 5 strapping boys ready to pounce on your ass. Think: 7 brides for 7 brothers.

Hopefully I can come back with some good stories

-10, J

Wedding weekend #.......yeah, I've lost count.

Difference: HEALTH

+10, V

Well, Kids, things just aren't the same 10 years down the road.

Today, I had a legitimate health scare. I'm not even joking. I was sitting at my desk and experienced sharp pain under my left boob and in the back of my shoulder.

I obviously GOOGLED "heart attack symptoms". I was fearful for my LIFE.

The google result showed me that I did not meet all of the symptoms. SO, I called my ++10 friend, explained my symptoms, and she assured me that I wasn't having a heart attack but instead it was









wait for it







gas pains.

I also asked somebody who's 50, who shared that she can't even eat raw vegetables anymore. (I ate cucumber).

I'm also debating whether or not I should write up a will. YOU NEVER KNOW.

I've been downing Sprite Zero trying to burp. Wish me luck.



-10, J

V's been walking around the office telling anyone with ears about how much pain she's in and begging them for Gasx.

A co-worker called from the store and V convinced them to buy some.

I've honestly heard her tell the story three times.

That's a lie. It's been five.

obvs

+10, V

There was a men's golf tournament in my hometown this weekend.

On Friday night there were a bunch of female strippers at the bar. Of course, I went to the back of the bar when they came on (and, let's be honest, this is the first time that I've seen strippers and was NOT in the front row).

All I saw was them sliding around on a blanket on stage...they just put their butts up in the air and got $5. They just slid around and covered up with the blanket and then left. NO DANCING?!? lame

The closing act was "Talia"...as if that's her real name. I was hoping for "Porche" or something cool. If I was a stripper my name would be "Presley" (obvs).

I'm going on VACAY this friday and will be gone for a week. Hopefully I'll take some notes and have some exciting stories upon my return.

love it

-10, J

Let me summarize V's "notes"

"I slept in"

"I tanned by my pool"


My motto for the summer: "A good friend brings a bottle of wine to share. A best friend brings two."

The summer of weddings continues -- this weekend is # 6 of 9.

Rebecca Black Day

+10, V

Well, I finished the first book, and am about 1/4 of the way into book 2.

I hope to get more reading done this weekend. Looking for my 20-something Christian Grey ... could be disguised as a Carnie or Pipeliner...who knows?

Going to the Legion tonight for the meat draw, haven't been in a while, should be the usual awesome-ness.

Really hoping to find another 20-something who wants to put diamonds in my rings and wants me to sleep with him and thinks that I'm younger than my sisters.

Just another adventurous weekend in a small town...you never know what's going to happen.

-10, J

V's a big talker. "another 20-something who wants to sleep with me"?? She didn't even let the guy from last weekend sleep with her...but, let's be honest; all of this is good for the blog so, who cares.

Dear Ellen,

Please get us on your show. Will you let us if V sleeps with a Pipeliner?

Sincerely,

J

p.s. V thinks that we should now be aiming for Howard Stern, but I don't know who that is.